


Enough

by theangelcastiella



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Father-Daughter Relationship, daddy!dean, platonic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-08-20
Packaged: 2018-08-09 21:15:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7817485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theangelcastiella/pseuds/theangelcastiella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The reader, Dean's adopted daughter, is tired of not being enough, not living up to the family name. When she overhears Dean tell Sam that he's going to keep her from hunting, she sneaks away from the bunker in the middle of the night to prove herself as both a hunter and a Winchester. Of course, as whenever one decides to hunt alone, things don't exactly go as planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enough

“What made you think you were good enough?”

Those were the words that you’d heard most of your life. Not from those around you, no.

From yourself. 

You were never enough.

How could you be, put up against the infamous Winchesters? You had been under Bobby’s care, but when he was killed, you ended up with Dean and Sam. What would have been a brother/sister relationship turned into a father/daughter one, with Dean taking the role of the parent. It, apparently, had shocked everyone. Some of the first memories you had with him in the bunker were of you not being enough.

You’d said it to yourself when you were eleven years old and still left at the bunker with Cas to babysit you while your dad and uncle hunted. You had wanted so badly to go. Dean had refused, Sam and Cas sticking firmly on his side. “It’s too dangerous. You don’t have enough experience. You aren’t old enough for this life.” It made sense now, but at the time, your preteen heart had been crushed.

You’d said it to yourself when you were fifteen and tried to sneak away on a date. Taking the impala was a stupid idea, reckless and not well planned. But you were rebellious, and sick of being stuck in the same protected fortress for most of your life. You wanted to get out and explore and enjoy life. Somehow, you managed to snatch the keys from Dean, but you realized as pressed a little too hard on the gas a little too soon and rammed into the side of the garage doorway that there was no way in hell that the impala would make it too far. You weren’t good enough at driving. For a week, you were grounded.

You’d said it to yourself when you were seventeen and Sam was lying on the ground, taking huge, gulping breaths, blood pouring out of his abdomen. You had almost lost him that night, due to you not being strong enough to handle a vamp on your own. Sam had to run in and save you, nearly costing him his life. 

Dean didn’t talk to you for the entire ride back home, and then some.

Since that night, you pushed. Pushed against the reigns that had so tightly held you back. 

You pushed to be enough. 

Less fast food, more nutrition. Less slouching around watching Netflix, more exercise. You studied lore for weeks, memorizing different exorcisms and even spells on the chance that Cas was off the radar. Every day brought a further run, a more vigorous training session, heavier reading. Slowly but surely it consumed your life. Your grades slipped, because who needed to know calculus when you were in a life or death situation? Missing meals became routine, because there was always something more important. Due to that, you often found yourself sneaking into the kitchen late at night, ransacking the fridge for anything that wasn’t completely unhealthy.

It was on one of those late night visits that you almost stumbled into Sam and Dean having a heated conversation, both of them talking in low whispers. 

“I’m worried about her, Sammy. Feels like I never see her anymore, y’know? And I keep getting calls from her teachers, sayin’ she’s missing class or bombing tests. I have to have a meeting with one of those sons of bitches next week.”

“What can we do, Dean? Hunting is all she knows, and she’s never been quite the same after that vamp hunt. I mean, you practically told her to shape up or say goodbye to hunting. Y/N’s doing what you told her to do. She’s doing all she can to make you proud, and you know what? You did the exact same damn thing for Dad when we were younger.”

You stood with bated breath, waiting for your father to answer.

“You’re right. We didn’t break the cycle, we just gave it a new generation. We gotta stop this.”

Stop this? Stop what?

“We can’t cut her off from hunting. It’ll break her.”

“Yeah? Well let me know when you find any other options. Just in case you forgot, I’m the one who stepped up and raised her, not you. Until we think of something better, no more hunting.”

Sam sighed. “Well, you can be the one to tell her, then. Let me know how that goes over.”

“I’ll tell her in the morning before we leave.”

All thought of food was forgotten. You raced back to your room, silent as you could, and as you frantically threw together a suitcase there was only one thing in your mind.  _ I will not let him ruin what I’ve built. I’ll show him that I can do it, and I was right, and nobody will ever tell me I’m not enough again. _

You waited, listening intently, until the brothers were both asleep before leaving, leaving only a short note behind on your bed. In your time of study and research, you’d looked up more than just lore of monsters. Knowing how to pick locks and hotwire cars, along with other simple things of the like, had also been high on the list. 

The car was easy. Changing the license plate? Effortless. 

Leaving behind everything you knew and everyone you loved? Taking precautions so that they wouldn’t be able to find you? Quite possibly the hardest thing that you’d ever done in your life.

Already, you had started planning ahead, cutting your hand and painting a sigil on the roof of the car just in case Cas decided to make a visit. You were sure to expect that sometime tomorrow, as soon as Dean realized you weren’t on a run or shooting targets or in your room. 

God, he would be so angry when he found you. 

The mere thought of his face, heavy with anger and betrayal, made you push down on the gas. Hands clenched and clammy, you flew out of Lebanon on wheels. The only stops that were made were for gas, drinks, and bathroom breaks until you were nearly out of Kansas. 

As soon as the sun began to rise, you felt your phone buzzing in your back pocket.

_ Your phone.  _

In the midst of your chaotic escape, you’d forgotten to smash it to smithereens. 

_ Stupid. Stupid! Now Sam will be able to track it this far, he’ll know where you are and he’ll tell Dean and then they’ll find you. Why did you think you were smart enough for this? You didn’t prepare enough, you should have- _

“No!” 

With a cry, you rolled down the window and flung the device from the car. Your heart was racing as you decided upon what to do next. 

“I’ll call Claire,” you muttered to yourself, “she can tell me where to go. Maybe she can come with me.”

As soon as you saw an exit, you went into the nearest city and drove until you found a payphone. Dialling Claire’s cell, you waited for three rings.

“Who is this and what do you want?” Even just waking up, Claire sounded angry. The familiarity brought a smile to your face.

“Hey Claire. It’s Y/N Winchester.” 

You heard a stifled yawn. “What’re you calling so early for? And why aren’t you calling from your phone? Where’s Dean?”

“It’s a long story. I’m hunting alone now, we just weren’t getting along.” A thought pushed it’s way into your mind, making your hands quiver. “You can not tell Dean that I called you, alright? Or that you even know about this. I had to ditch my phone so Sammy can’t trace me. I’m almost out of Kansas and looking for a hunt. You know of any in the area? I’m almost to Missouri.”

“I’m actually in Kansas City right now, on my way to a vamp hunt about an hour out. You want in? I could use some help, really. Jody was supposed to be with me but some actual police stuff came up in town and she had to stay. I told her I was gonna call Sam and Dean, but… you’ve been hunting for a while now, right?”

“Yeah. So, where is the hunt?”

Claire gave you the directions and everything that she knew so far about the situation, and then you were back on the road. You didn’t drive for long, as the exhaustion of going without sleep was getting to you quickly. Luckily for you, there was a cheap motel not even a mile away, so you bought a room (under a pseudonym , of course) and crashed as soon as your head hit the pillow.

\--

“You ready for this?”

Your hand was tightly wrapped around the handle of a machete, your pulse racing. This was the first vamp hunt you’d been on since the incident with Sam, and though you were desperate to redeem yourself, it was near impossible to be fearless.

“Ready as I’ll ever be. This pack is one of the dumbest. Their hideout is right on the forest path, we’ll find it in no time. As long as we get there before dark. Come on.”

The two of you slipped out of Claire’s truck and began your hunt in silence. The only thing on your mind was Dean. Why had he not sent Castiel to find you yet? Would he ever forgive you? Did he know where you were? Sam hadn’t attempted to find you either, it seemed. Or maybe you were somehow smart enough to duck under their radar.

What if this wasn’t enough to show him you were capable of hunting? That you were worthy of the Winchester name?

“Hellloooo. Earth to Y/N, come in, Y/N.” Claire waved a hand in front of your face, obviously trying to get your attention. “We need to turn back.”

Alarm rose in your mind. You couldn’t go back now, not when you were so close to proving yourself. 

“What did you say?”

Claire rolled her eyes, pointing to the sky. “It’s getting dark. We need to go back now. We can’t fight them when they have the advantage, no matter how stupid they are.”

“But they could attack someone tonight. Don’t you want to save lives?” 

She paused, cocking her head to the side and narrowing her eyes. “Why don’t you tell me what this is really about?”

“Saving people! Doing our fucking jobs, and not bitching out just because it’s a little darker!” You were seething now, emotions flying far out of your control.  _ Good hunters didn’t back out. Bad hunters weren’t brave enough. You were brave, though. And nothing was stopping you from claiming what was rightfully yours; the title of a good hunter, a hunter who didn’t need her daddy to sweep through and save her.  _

_ The only thing that would freeze tonight would be the expressions on the vamps’ dirty faces. _

“I am not  _ bitching out _ ,” Claire fumed, her face hardly an inch from yours, “I am trying to keep you  _ alive.  _ Do you have any idea what Jody would do to me if she found out I lied to her and got you killed in the process? What your dad would do?”

“Don’t talk about Dean to me.”

You turned round and started walking down the path again, away from Claire and away from the setting sun.

“Where do you think you’re going?

“I don’t need you to protect me. I can handle myself, and unlike you, I can handle a few scumbag vampires.”

“I’m not going to follow you, Y/N. This is a death wish!” Claire sounded agitated, but she seemed to be true to her word. You heard no footsteps behind you.

“Fine. I’ll bring you a souvenir.” 

With that, you stomped away, each step darkening your thoughts further, just as the sky was darkening. Before you knew it, you were overtaken by shadow, the ghost of regret dancing in your mind. 

_ You weren’t smart enough to realize you were being reckless, and now you are going to die. _

“No,” you mumbled under your breath, “I did this for a reason. Someone could die tonight if I don’t do this.” 

You said that to yourself until their hideout was in sight, and then it was all or none. You couldn’t believe that they’d let you get this far.

“Why, I can’t believe it- Y/N Winchester, here in the flesh.”

_ Ah, there it is. _

You turned slowly, repositioning your grip on the machete, to see a lanky, pasty, teenaged looking boy standing before you. He smiled, only securing what you already knew; fangs were protruding from his gums at all angles.

“Guilty as charged,” you responded, stepping forward and swinging your arms back. Just as you started to attack him, you felt ice cold hands brace around your wrists, stopping any motion you had with their strength. 

“Oh, I don’t think so, sweetheart.” Your weapon was ripped from your grasp. “Now breathe in.”

That should have been warning enough, but in your alarm and confusion, you hadn’t realized the rag was pressed over your mouth and nose until it was too late. Drowsiness swept over you at a terrifyingly quick rate, leaving you defenseless to the vampires. 

“Nighty night, Winchester.”

_ Bastards, _ you thought, and then you fell into a dizzying darkness.

\---

“Why don’t we just  _ drink her already _ ?”

“If we wait long enough, others will surely come after her. Then we can have a feast.”

“But I’m hungry  _ now. _ What makes her any better than the others?”

“You idiot! She’s practically a  _ Winchester.  _ If we can take out their whole clan, nothing will stand in our way. We’ll be praised!”

You wiggled your wrists, eyes still shut. Rope held them tightly against… something.  _ Were you tied to a bed? _

Sure enough, your ankles were restrained, too. Judging from that and the soft surface beneath you, you were definitely tied to some sort of bed or cot. 

“No use playin’ dead, sweetheart. I can hear your heartbeat speeding up.”

Annoyance fogged your already unclear mind.  _ Stupid vamps. _ They stood in front of you, ten or so, various expressions on their faces. Some were intrigued while others looked simply bloodthirsty. No matter what they were thinking though, there was something in common: they all had their eyes on you.

“Ahh there she is, our golden girl. Where’s the rest of your pack, Y/N?” The one talking to you had a mass of greasy hair piled atop his head, thumb gently stroking the dull side of a dagger.

“Save the power trip, buddy. You’re gonna die no matter what happens.” How were you expected to assess your situation when dealing with this? “How do you know my name, anyways?”

“Oh, Y/N.” He stepped forward, obviously with some sort of leadership position in the pack. “Everybody knows your name. The “daughter” of the great Dean Winchester, the man who went to Hell and came back to tell the tale. He and his brother have somehow dodged the hands of death every time they got close - they’re practically famous. But you? You have no blood relation to them, yet hold your head high and mighty as if you were on their level. You pretend to have a normal life! It makes you an easy target. You don’t know the first thing about hunting, and anyone who gets their hands on you gets their hands on your daddy. Like taking candy from a baby.”

All at once, shame crushed down on your chest, and you couldn’t breathe. They were right. If you had known anything about hunting, you would have known that hunts alone never turn out good. This was it. They wouldn’t be able to find you now, not in time.

“Oh, it won’t be that easy. You’ve got a lot coming,” you snarled, craning your neck to get a better look at them. 

“Tell me where they are and I’ll make sure your death is painless.” He stepped closer still, twirling the knife around with his fingers. “Where’s your daddy, Y/N?”

“Don’t call him that,” you muttered.

“Answer me, bitch! Where are they?” The head vamp enunciated each word as though each was a question on it’s own. You wanted to stay quiet, like you knew Dean would, but a powerful slap across the face had you spitting out the answer.

“I don’t know where they are!”

Silence followed your yell, thick and suffocating, before one of the side vamps said, “I think she’s telling the truth. There are tears in her eyes.”

You had just sealed your fate. They gathered around you, making stupid comments and suggestions to their leader. 

“You heard her! There’s no point in keeping her now!”

“Drain her!”

“Aw, can’t we have some fun with her first?”

Their words grew louder and more hateful, and before you knew it, you were praying.

_ I’m sorry Cas, I’m sorry Sam, I’m sorry Dean. I just wanted to show you that I’m a Winchester. I don’t want to die yet. Help me, please, help me, they’re going to kill me. Hear me!  _

Closer and closer came the group. It was beginning to seem hopeless. The rope was too thick to get out of. You were absolutely defenseless. As one of them opened their fang-filled mouth, you squeezed your eyes shut and held your breath. 

_ I’m sorry. _

“No!”

The sound of wings flapping hit your ears, and when you opened your eyes, there they were. Sam, Cas, and Dean, weapons out. The vamps spun around, one of them muttering, “I told you he’d show up.”

“Damn straight,” said your dad said, raising his blade. “Nobody takes my kid without a fight.”

That was when the heads began to roll. Dean and Cas were decapitating and smiting the vamps one by one. Battle cries and strangled hisses seemed to be coming from all directions. 

Sam ran over as soon as he could, cutting your ties and giving you a quick look.

“Sam, I’m fine. Really,” you said, avoiding his eyes. 

“Good,” he replied, pulling out another blade. “Because these vamps aren’t gonna behead themselves.”

You looked up at him, unsure, and he gently pushed the blade into your hands. 

“Let’s go get ‘em.” 

Nodding, you stood from the bed and went straight to the leader of the pack. He spared no time and kicked you in the stomach, knocking the wind out of you.

“You dirty skank,” he spat, advancing on you once again. “I don’t know how you contacted them, but it doesn’t matter.” A quick punch in the jaw sent you reeling. “You won’t win. You aren’t  _ good enough. _ ”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” you yelled, dodging another hit from him. “I’m more than enough!” 

He smiled at you, baring his teeth and going right for your neck. This time you didn’t freeze. Instead, you gripped the handle of your blade tightly and swung it around, strong and fast as you could.

Next thing you knew, his head was on the floor, blood splattered on your shirt.

You looked around and saw that all the others were dead. Dean was looking at you with an expression that almost broke your heart. It was hard to place, not quite angry, but more than just sad or disappointed. Wistful, maybe. Your lungs were working hard, as was your frantically beating heart, as he walked towards you, saying, “I need a minute alone with my daughter, please.” Sam and Cas, of course, met his wishes, leaving the cabin without a second thought.

“Dean… I’m so sorry,” you whimpered, because as soon as he opened his mouth a dam inside you seemed to  burst. “I just wanted to show you I could do it, but I can’t, and I heard you say that you were gonna make me stop hunting and it scared me because I’ve been working so, so hard on it. Everyone that knows you just seems to be disappointed in me. I want to live up to the family name. But I’ll never be family. I’m not a real Winchester.” You broke off, throat constricted from holding back tears. Dean looked at you for a long time before walking closer, pulling you into a fierce hug. 

“You don’t need to own up to anybody, Y/N. In my eyes, you more that lived up to the family name. You saw that you couldn’t fight alone, and you reached out for help. That’s something Sam and I still got a hard time doing.”

“You mean,” you sniffled, “you aren’t disappointed in me?”

He scoffed, wiping his thumb under your eyes. “Of course I’m not. Nobody coulda’ taken on ten bloodsuckers alone. It’s crazy. And about the family name.” He paused, rubbing the back of his neck, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “There was something Bobby always used to say to us.  _ Family don’t end with blood _ . You may not be my kid by blood, but you are my kid by heart. I’ve always seen you like that, kiddo.” He paused for a moment, as though stuck on what wording to use. “What I’m trying to say is, you’re a real Winchester to me. Sammy and Cas, too. That’s all that matters, ‘cause we’re family. And family sticks together - so don’t try to pull this crap ever again, okay? Scared the shit outta me.”

A smile broke out across your face, and you wrapped your arms around him once more. 

“I love you, Dean.”

“Love you too, sweetheart. C’mon, let’s go get you cleaned up. You took quite the beating.”

You followed Dean outside cabin, where Sam, Cas, and Claire were waiting. As soon as she saw you, she ran over, nearly suffocating you in her strong embrace. 

“Claire?” you said, stumbling back from her hug, “What are you doing here?”

“I called Dean as soon as you were out of earshot. I knew he’d be able to help more than I could.”

You nodded. “Yeah, you were probably right there. Nobody can kill a vamp as well as my dad - and Sam and Cas, of course,” you added at the offended looks on their faces. 

“Let's make an effort to keep this from Jody, hm? If she finds out, she will skin  _ all  _ of our asses. Yes, yours too, Dean, because you let Y/N get out right under your nose.” 

Dean scoffed, acting as though Claire wasn't completely correct. “Well, fine. When you put it that way.”

“What do you say we all go home?” You asked, forcing back a yawn. The crisp night air was chilling you to the bone, and after everything that had just happened you were exhausted. 

“Yeah.” Dean wrapped an arm around your shoulders, planting a kiss on the top of your head. “Let's go home.”

 


End file.
